tags: #[[ooc: thank you thank you]]

You’re Not Birdie. 

rebelliousrobin:

In the split second it takes for Joker to smash Jasons head against the hard concrete floor, he realizes his mistakes. Batman warned him not to lose his head, not to indulge in his emotions. He warned him especially about dealing with the Joker. And what does he do? He goes and finds him by himself. Jason even made the smart decision to scramble his tracking devices so Batman wouldn’t follow him. Jason cursed himself in his head.

Jason feels his nose crush against the floor. He groans loudly and feels blood gush down his face as it coats his teeth and his bruised lips before it drips to the floor. Jokers tight grip on his hair prevents Jason from avoiding the seeds as they get in his eyes and mouth, sticking to the blood on his face. Robin pushes against him to no use, feeling his scalp scream in protest. Blind punches don’t catch on anything, the bird seed caught under the Kevlar of his mask and stinging his eyes. He spits a mixture of bird seed, blood and saliva out at Joker, grabbing the other mans wrists and curling his knees as he attempts to pry the dangerous clown from atop him. 

“Get off!” He yells, struggling and thrashing against him. A rookie mistake. A stupid mistake, Jason thought to himself as he fought back childish fear.

This game wasn’t fun anymore.

Joker holds Jason tight and leans in close, watching the way the birdseed and blood sticks to his face. He’s really, really starting to appreciate the aesthetics of the combination. He wonders if he can use that again sometime later—he’d certainly try.

Less nice is getting that blood and birdseed—with a side of spit—on his face for his trouble. He flinches away, letting go of Jason just to rub it off. Apparently discontent with letting him get away with such a rude gesture unpunished, he kicks Jason in the ribs hard enough to flip him over.

“Not hungry, baby birdie? Don’t tell me you still need to be burped to prevent spit-up.” Joker trails off and laughs softly. “Maybe that’s what this was? I hope it wasn’t bad manners, because then I’d have to teach you a lesson and that’s really Batsy’s job… actually, it’s really his job to save his bird when he gets in over his head. Now… where is he?

tags: #[[ ooc: I missed writing Joker. Ahh he's so fun.]]

You’re Not Birdie. 

rebelliousrobin:

Wrinkling his nose despite Jokers clean scent, Jasons feet faultier and he shifts uncomfortably with the mad man so close to him. His face stung and he felt his heart beat rapidly, like a bird getting shaken around in a cage. Exhaling through his nose, Jason knits his brows and shoves Joker against the wall once more, hard, before he drops him and steps back. Anger flows off him in waves, his eyes fiery and serious despite being obscured. 

“I’m better than that.” Jason spat, venom filling the air he used to speak.

“I’m better than you, than your birdie.” He didn’t move, but his body language changes significantly. “I already am Robin, and I don’t have to prove anything to scum like you.” It took everything for Jason to withhold taking all the pent up anger he was harboring out on Joker. His fists tighten and he crouches down to become eye level with the villain. He looks in his eyes for a moment to decide what to do. Jason didn’t think like Dick or Bruce, he wasn’t that logical, not at all a detective. Not yet. Unamused by the Jokers complacent behavior, he scoffs and looks down his nose at the beaten man. 

“You’re pathetic, you know that right?” Jason was pushing his luck now, letting his anger slip out in short bursts of venomous words. It lowered his guard and clouded his mind. “You can’t manipulate me. I’m smarter than you.” Childish words bore proof of his naivety. “You’re going back to Arkham, where you will rot, jackass.”

Joker lets a hiss out through his teeth and crumples half-way down the wall; he sucks in a few deep breaths without unlocking his jaw. So angry. Angry wasn’t fun unless it was driven… but he’s sure something has to be driving this bird.

“…Smarter, you say? That’s not very impressive, given that I’m mad.” He laughs quietly, looking for all the world like he was going to be compliant before he abruptly reaches out, grabbing Jason around his neck. With all his weight, he slams him against the ground and immediately starts cackling gleefully as he grabs onto Jason’s hair and repeats the gesture a few times—just a bit easier, so as to avoid cracking his temple.

“You’re right!” He calls out, “you’re right! Of course you’re smarter! Of course you’re better than me, that’s why you’re on the ground and I’m making you…” He pauses and presses down hard on the back of Jason’s head, “eat dust. Or I would, if there were any dust here. Oh! I know what to do!”

With his free hand, he digs around in his pocket until he pulls out a twisted up bag of birdseed. Immediately, he flips it over Jason’s face and shakes the tie free. His fingers dig deeper into Jason’s hair when the seeds start pouring free, and he looks giddy as a kid at Christmas by the time the bag is finally empty.

“There! Have a snack! A smart bird like you must get hungry.”

He pauses and cackles again. “You’re really redefining bird-brain for me, here.”

tags: #[[it's okay! i'm glad to get things rolling again though]]

You’re Not Birdie. 

rebelliousrobin:

Jason felt his face get hot, eyes widening a bit. His flushed face a mixture of fear and embarrassment, contrasted with the dark deep green of his mask. His arms tingled as he reaches down to grab the thin man, rage tightening his hands into fists. He pulls him up and pushes him against a near by wall. Jason was tall for his age, but Joker still towered over him. He glares up at him, his fists pulling the fabric taught.

“You don’t know a thing about Batman and me.” Jason barks, gritting his teeth to try and maintain his emotions. He had enough doubts of his makeshift father figure, he didn’t need this maniac to accentuate it. His eyes glance back to the gruesome scene in the background, thankful to be at least a little further from the smell. It smelled like dead birds.

“You don’t scare me.” Jason had meant for his voice to be loud, strong and dark. Like how Batman’s voice would growl morosely when he caught someone red handed. Instead, he sounds more like a lost little kid on the wrong side of town. Robin swallows harshly, and tries again.

“Yeah, you’re insane. I get it. But you’ve got to have some kind of motive.” Desperation seeps through his words though Jason keeps his face stark and solemn.

Despite being thrashed around—and trust him, getting his back slammed against the wall didn’t exactly feel good—Joker’s smile never fades. He laughs, flailing his arms around in childish glee. “No, no, I don’t know about him and you, but I know about him, and I’m learning an awful lot about you now. Like how you’re not like him! And like how you’re not at all like the last birdie, and I’m really disappointed in that. You disappoint me, new birdie.”

He cranes his head closer to Jason until it’s inches away, and the smile that had dropped when he had said ‘disappoint’ starts to creep back across his face. Joker’s breath smells surprisingly like mouthwash when he speaks, in a too-clean, too-sterilized kind of way— “But maybe you don’t have to. I like doing this. I like Bats, and I like Birdie. I like cutting people up, and blowing people up, and I love making them smile.”

His speech breaks off so he can cackle, but that gets cut short when he reaches up to grab Jason’s wrists and squeeze them tight. “Why do you do what you do? To make a difference? To be somebody? You could never be Robin.” He giggles. “But you know what you could be? You could be someone that Bats will never be. You could be the man—give that part a few years—who kills the Joker.”

Abruptly, he lets go of Jason’s wrists and slaps his own against the wall, and by now he’s laughing manically. “Go on, boy! Use that knife you took from me! Prove you don’t belong in that uniform—prove you’re not Robin, and get rid of this madman that plagues Gotham forever! Oh, think of the lives you’ll save! Think of how proud the people will be! Why, they might just give you your very own holiday.”

tags: #[[ooc: it's cool man. I dunno when you posted that reply but I stopped looking so there's a good chance this is a late reply too]]

You’re Not Birdie. 

rebelliousrobin:

hewholaughs:

Joker’s mouth twists into something of angry confusion, but he takes the physical abuse with a near blithe attitude on top of that all. A wheezing breath escapes him when Jason applies pressure to his chest, and he glances over at the knife before looking back at the bird.

“Oh,” he says after a second, “oh.” His eyes go wide in realization and he starts giggling wildly. “You’re not him! You’re not my bird at all!” He breaks out onto full on (admittedly wheezy) laughter and wildly kicks his feet against the ground like an excited child.

Abruptly, it all stops and he leans up under Jason’s hold. “Who are you?” He hisses venomously. “There’s only one person who can call himself Robin and it’s not you.”

His tone switches over to take on a jovial tone again and he starts to cackle. “Oh, Batsy would get such a kick out of this! Then again,” his voice drops to ‘I-need-to-tell-you-a-secret’ hiss, “I’m sure he’d be mad that someone tried to steal the title.”

Sneering angrily down at the wriggling man underneath his foot, Robin spoke through clenched teeth. “I am Robin, you freak.” The sole of his boot twisted slightly, bunching the crisp fabric of Jokers suit into a wrinkled mess. “Get used to it, because I’m not going anywhere.” Jason knew how Joker played his cards, and he wasn’t about to listen to him. So what if he’s not an acrobat or super smart or great with words? He was Robin now and he was the best Robin ever. No doubt about it!

“Batman trained me to be better than the old Robin.” Jay retorts, sliding the knife safely in his utility belt. Disarming him was one thing, but a weapon that nice shouldn’t be handed over to the police and left in a box in some station. It deserved to be appreciated, and Jason thought himself a worthy successor. He crosses his arms and attempts to look intimidating.

“Tell me why you did this to your own men. Are you planning something?” Jason demands furiously. He wasn’t frightened of the puddle of men swinging….in the large rusted cage….covered in their own blood and birdseed…..in a dark desolate warehouse……..Okay, so he was a little afraid. Maybe a little more than he was willing to admit to himself.

“Liar!” Joker shrieks until his breath is cut off by Jason’s heel digging into his chest, “Bats wouldn’t give you the time of day!” His outrage smothers itself out, and he goes slack against the ground. Well this wasn’t fun anymore; fake-birdie was a liar and boring and… scared.

Oh.

He could salvage the night.

“I don’t plan things,” he cackles, “or I’m always planning, I’m not really sure. I think that I might forget that I had a plan and change it mid-way through, or I’m just really good at thinking on my feet.” He pauses and glances around at the ground to either side of him. “Or back, which sounds an awful lot like sex and that would just be inappropriate.”

A wide grin slips past his lips. “Why? Don’t you like it? Wouldn’t you like to be caged up beside them? I mean, if you’re the new birdie, it’s where you belong…”

tags: #[[ whoops. put this on the wrong account at first.]]

You’re Not Birdie. 

rebelliousrobin:

hewholaughs:

From the shadows, Joker watches his flighty little bird cross up to his feed. He grins and bites back gleeful laughter as he can practically feel the bird shiver. Excitement? Fear? Probably fear; maybe he should have left some of their eyes.

He itches with excitement, particularly when his flighty bird recognizes him lurking. He says something… something rather odd for his birdie, but he figures that the boy is just nervous. A thin laugh escapes Joker as he steps forward into the light; it quickly picks up pace and intensity before cutting off abruptly.

He rushes forward, his fingers curled around a knife that he uses to dive straight for Robin’s eyes. He freezes at the last moment and displeased curl upon his features—no, no! This wasn’t right at all! What was wrong here?

Well, this Robin was certainly…taller?— than he was supposed to be… and foul mouthed… maybe something had happened?

Joker extends the knife until it clacks against the lens… and birdie doesn’t really so much as flinch. He scowls, tapping it a few more times. What? What was wrong?

“Is this knife defective?” He marvels to himself, “you’re not acting afraid at all. It’s really anticlimactic after you’ve been avoiding me all this time.”

Robin yelped at the unexpected attack, pushing himself from Joker with confusion. He stood ready, for real this time, for another close encounter. Light blue eyes narrow and glare darkly at the insane man holding the rather impressive knife. It looks new and expensive and Jason finds himself admiring it briefly. 

“Why would I be afraid of some stupid knife?” Jason scoffed venomously, moving with ease to attempt disarming the Joker. His foot shot out like a bullet in a gun, all the weight and muscle tensing to deliver a rather harsh kick to the clowns hand. Jay launched himself onto the newly seemingly harmless Joker, the boys knee crashing into the mans rib cage and pinning him to the ground. Flipping from Jokers chest, Jasons hands clamped over the decommissioned knife and landed a foot or two away from the crumpled villain. 

“Granted, it’s a pretty bad ass knife.” Jason said, admiring the workmanship and craft of the blade. Robin rolled Joker over with his foot, stepping not so lightly on his sternum. Flipping the blade in his hands, Jason glared daggers down at the culprit. His grip tightened on the handle of the knife and he twisted his mouth into a thin line. Leaning forward onto the foot digging into the Jokers chest, Jasons eyes flickered between the knife and Jokers face. 

“You’re the Joker, right?” Jason said tauntingly. “Huh. I thought you’d be more of a challenge.” Jason smiled, basking in the praise he might get from returning Joker to Arkham on a mission otherwise proven to just be criminal activity. Batman would probably give him his own car. Okay well maybe if he knew how to drive. Maybe a motorcycle or something. Or a bigger monthly allowance.

Joker’s mouth twists into something of angry confusion, but he takes the physical abuse with a near blithe attitude on top of that all. A wheezing breath escapes him when Jason applies pressure to his chest, and he glances over at the knife before looking back at the bird.

“Oh,” he says after a second, “oh.” His eyes go wide in realization and he starts giggling wildly. “You’re not him! You’re not my bird at all!” He breaks out onto full on (admittedly wheezy) laughter and wildly kicks his feet against the ground like an excited child.

Abruptly, it all stops and he leans up under Jason’s hold. “Who are you?” He hisses venomously. “There’s only one person who can call himself Robin and it’s not you.”

His tone switches over to take on a jovial tone again and he starts to cackle. “Oh, Batsy would get such a kick out of this! Then again,” his voice drops to ‘I-need-to-tell-you-a-secret’ hiss, “I’m sure he’d be mad that someone tried to steal the title.”

tags: #they look good on christmas trees #[[i wonder if i should tag this for gore?]] #[[i'm going to go with 'no' for now...]]

To Batsy and Family; 

birdboywonder:

hewholaughs:

Read More

Uh, gee… thanks. So many happy memories…

Whoops! Forgot something.

Silly me.

tags: #i knit it just for you #now stop complaining or i'll stuff it with something flammable.

To Batsy and Family; 

commissionersdaughter:

hewholaughs:

Read More

Aww, Joker. Nothing for me? 

I’ve got something for you.

No. I don’t like you.

… Okay.

Here, now you can hug this and pretend you have a real member of the Bat-family watching over you.

To Batsy and Family; 

Read More

tags: #tap tap tap #like a woodpecker

You’re Not Birdie. 

rebelliousrobin:

hewholaughs:

He had to lay out birdseed. For the longest time, Joker had mauled over how to lure his precious bird in. What was enough for him, but not for Batsy? Now, Batsy was absolutely fantastic, don’t get him wrong, he loved his Batsy, but he had a time and a place.

And his birdie hadn’t been around since the whole ‘I’m going to stick a knife in your eye’ situation, and that was just disappointing. Honestly, who knew he was so easy to scare?

He went too far, that was all… but he could bring his bird back. A treat here (no eyeballs, no. Nothing to scare his bird,) and a bit of food there; sometimes a murder, sometimes a sighting, once or twice a singing telegram on their very special billboard; anything, everything.

Today, he’s sure he’s left the right trail. Today, a steady mix of petty, misleading crimes would lead him here, he was sure. He’d gone off and created a proxy gang just to lure the Boy Blunder in… and oh, what a blunder it would be!

Outside, he can see flashes of color. Red, black, yellow…

His birdie has taken the bait. He’ll admire him for a bit; he left a treat for him to pick at in the center of the warehouse. Bodies— all of the proxy gang he’d gone off and hired, arranged all pretty in a big giant cage. And okay, maybe he was a little naughty here, but every last one of them had their eyes removed.

Some had sunken sockets, some had things put in to replace them (like birdseed, tumbling out from the edges) some had no eyelids whatsoever…

But ahh, it would be the perfect treat for them both. Now he just had to wait.

It was so exciting; his heart’s pounding. So… exciting…

Tonight was unusually unsettling. Something about the way things felt, the smell that hung in the air at the warehouse yard. It made his stomach squirm uncomfortably. The ominous clues leading to the building left Robin with a sour taste in his mouth, but he didn’t dare call Batman. No, he could handle this himself, and he was sure Batman expected him too. Pushing away the anxious thoughts in his head, Jason climbed over the building and disrupted a security sensor before slipping into the main warehouse floor. He turned to see the large impending cage. 

His boots scuffed the floor lightly as he approached the foreboding symbol. Blood mixed with birdseed had dripped to the floor, and Jay could feel his skin crawl as his pale aqua eyes looked over the bruised men. Horrible men that lived horrible lives ending in a horrible way. Jason didn’t know wither to feel sorry or glad.

Hearing something behind him, Jason turned sharply on his heel. The short boy stood his ground and moved into a fighting stance. He looked around exasperatedly, eager to bring whoever was behind this to justice. Just then he saw something from the corner of his eye, moving. He flipped over dramatically to change his position, readying his hands in defense. 

“Come on out, you dirty sleazeball.” Taunted the masked teenager. Petty insults were great when dealing with gang thugs. It got them riled up and angry. He could make out someone tall in the dark shadows, narrowing his eyes.

From the shadows, Joker watches his flighty little bird cross up to his feed. He grins and bites back gleeful laughter as he can practically feel the bird shiver. Excitement? Fear? Probably fear; maybe he should have left some of their eyes.

He itches with excitement, particularly when his flighty bird recognizes him lurking. He says something… something rather odd for his birdie, but he figures that the boy is just nervous. A thin laugh escapes Joker as he steps forward into the light; it quickly picks up pace and intensity before cutting off abruptly.

He rushes forward, his fingers curled around a knife that he uses to dive straight for Robin’s eyes. He freezes at the last moment and displeased curl upon his features—no, no! This wasn’t right at all! What was wrong here?

Well, this Robin was certainly…taller?— than he was supposed to be… and foul mouthed… maybe something had happened?

Joker extends the knife until it clacks against the lens… and birdie doesn’t really so much as flinch. He scowls, tapping it a few more times. What? What was wrong?

“Is this knife defective?” He marvels to himself, “you’re not acting afraid at all. It’s really anticlimactic after you’ve been avoiding me all this time.”

You’re Not Birdie. 

He had to lay out birdseed. For the longest time, Joker had mauled over how to lure his precious bird in. What was enough for him, but not for Batsy? Now, Batsy was absolutely fantastic, don’t get him wrong, he loved his Batsy, but he had a time and a place.

And his birdie hadn’t been around since the whole ‘I’m going to stick a knife in your eye’ situation, and that was just disappointing. Honestly, who knew he was so easy to scare?

He went too far, that was all… but he could bring his bird back. A treat here (no eyeballs, no. Nothing to scare his bird,) and a bit of food there; sometimes a murder, sometimes a sighting, once or twice a singing telegram on their very special billboard; anything, everything.

Today, he’s sure he’s left the right trail. Today, a steady mix of petty, misleading crimes would lead him here, he was sure. He’d gone off and created a proxy gang just to lure the Boy Blunder in… and oh, what a blunder it would be!

Outside, he can see flashes of color. Red, black, yellow…

His birdie has taken the bait. He’ll admire him for a bit; he left a treat for him to pick at in the center of the warehouse. Bodies— all of the proxy gang he’d gone off and hired, arranged all pretty in a big giant cage. And okay, maybe he was a little naughty here, but every last one of them had their eyes removed.

Some had sunken sockets, some had things put in to replace them (like birdseed, tumbling out from the edges) some had no eyelids whatsoever…

But ahh, it would be the perfect treat for them both. Now he just had to wait.

It was so exciting; his heart’s pounding. So… exciting…